Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Star in Our Hearts

The Stars in our Heart

For all the one we love and loss
Let their souls rest 
Near or far, we can still hear them calling out for us from the sky.
Whenever the sky cries, they hear our sorrow.
Whenever the sky smiles, they hear our smile.

Even though the truth might hurt, sometimes we have to accept it.
Even though there are times that reality are like dreams, we have to live them.
Just like death.
We as Humans sometime hold the true things in our hearts, refusing to accept the reality, the true pain.
Most of the time, we are afraid to see what is reality.
Yes, I understand that death is something not everyone can let go of.
Because when that one person you hold dear is gone, it's like the world have come to an end.
We tend to hold it deep in our heart because we think it's the best way.
Sometimes, we just have to know when to let go, though it may seem painful and difficult to do.
But when we finally let that one special person go, we can finally free ourselves from our grief.
It is understandable that most people hold onto their special person because they know if they "let" that person go, it's like forgetting them.
To let go doesn't meaning to forget, it means to accept reality.
But to let go doesn't also mean to ignore the pain and move on like it never happened.
It means "to remember, and to let go".
These kind of emotional barrier is what make us stronger.
And we all must know how to pull through.
It is sad that some of us cope their loss so much that some of us are pulled into misery.
Even choosing the path to death sometimes...
Some are resilient to death, will take decades to heal.
No matter how long or fast it takes, as long as we all learn and grow from it.
We should understand that even at death, our love ones will never depart from us.
They are still watching us from above, hoping that we can find happiness, hoping we can finally see what is real and what is not.
Death isn't the end. 
It is a new beginning, a new beginning for the loss and a new beginning for us all.

I want you all, whoever is reading this or whenever someone come across this, to close your eyes.
Think deeply about the one you lost, the one you remember, and the one you love.
Search for their faces, their names, call out for them and pray.
Think of the time when they are still alive.
Despite all of the choices they made, whether it was bad or good, 
and despite if they passed from terminal sickness or suicide, 
their soul made a choice. 
We must truly accept their choices because we love them.
Thank them for the happiness they give, and be thankful that your alive to live for them.
Think deeply and sincerely. 
Cry if you even want to. But let it all out. 
Hold onto their faces and let them go, smiling and hoping a brighter future for their souls.

Then, at night, whenever you see stars, those stars represent every living being who lost their life.
Every being watching over their love ones on earth, including you.
Remember, they are always there, protecting and guiding us all.
All of the stars in our hearts....
All of the love ones....
Watching every bits of our lives.


The one I love and loss 


Choi Jin Sil 
Choi Jin Young

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

[REVIEW] Truth and Sky 진실과진영

(Poster & Story: Chrissy Chou)

Written by: Chrissy Chou

Story adapted and inspired from the life of Choi Jin Sil and Choi Jin Young

October 22, 2013

Remembering the Nation's Actress
After 5 years of the death of Korea's Greatest Actress, Choi Jin Sil (Dec. 24, 1968 - Oct. 2, 2008), many people in Korea have forgotten about her, only remembering her as a public figure who took her life after a traumatic divorce and for the rumor of loaning money to a good friend, Ahn Jae Hwan (1973-2008), who took his life a month earlier.
Two years after her death, the Choi experience, yet, another death in the family, the younger brother of Choi Jin Sil, Choi Jin Young (Feb. 27, 1971 - Mar. 29, 2010), who was an actor and singer, took his own life after coping the grief from his sister death.
It have been years since anyone have talked of these two. 
Two great person, lost in depression and sorrow.

After discovering the pain of the Choi Family, Chrissy Chou have developed a story like never before. Unlike her other stories, this is the first time she will ever write a story about the bond of "brother-and-sister" love. Taking and inspiring from the life of the two Choi's.
C: Everyone who are familiar with my work knows that I always write the story of "Two sisters". This will be my first time writing about a "Brother & Sister love", which I find it difficult since I've never experienced having any younger brother. But, it's so worth it to try something new. 

Chou have watched quite a number of Choi Jin Sil's dramas and movies; Chou instantly fell in love with Choi's acting and personality.
C: She's a woman with power. She symbolize the strength and courage for many women. After she announced her divorce in 2004, many actress have come forward and admitted their's also. It's like Choi Jin Sil really encouraged many feared-women to step up.

Chou said she saw the resemblance between Choi and her own mother, who deceased years before. By looking and observing Choi's action, it reminded her of her own mom.
C: My mother have suffered great pains and have went through depression. Even though she never told us, I knew because she always have to take her medications. When I saw Choi Jin Sil in "My Rosy Life", it reminded me of how my mother went through and how tough and brave my mother fought through, just like how Choi Jin Sil did. Both of the two are really inspiring figures to me.

Chou said when she first saw the news of Choi committing suicide in 2008, she felt connected because 
Choi was a young mother, leaving behind 2 young children; just like how her mother deceased at a young age and leaving her and her two siblings when they were younger.
C: I remember when I saw Choi Jin Sil's funeral. My heart fluttered in pain, seeing how much her death have caused so many grief to everyone around her. Especially when I saw Choi Jin Young's expression. His tears broke my heart sincerely. It must have been difficult to deal what he had to go through. 

After discovering of how Choi Jin Young took his own life in 2010, Chou was disappointed and sad for his act but also understood what was going on in Choi Jin Young's mind.
C: Depression is a hard thing to cope with. People who have never gone through depression will say, "Just get over with it. Move on." It is easy to say but not so easy to act upon. I've had depression for almost 7 months when I was 16 years old. And trust me, depression is so vile and harsh that not even happiness can pierce through it. To live like what both Choi Jin Sil and Choi Jin Young have to go through, I understand that it wasn't easy for both of them. It can take years to heal depression. And it is just so heartbreaking to not see the both of them pulled through. 

Chou wants to write this story in the reminiscence of the two Choi.
Telling the world how horrible depression can be and show the thoughts of these individual while encountering these horrible events in their lives.

The Plot of Truth&Sky
Chrissy Chou have decided that she will be officially writing a story about the life of the Choi Siblings. She clearly emphasized that this is inspired on a true story, not based on it, because there will be some things she will be changing and adding.
The story begins with the siblings in high school, way before the two became celebrities in 1987. The beginning will introduce the two characters and their background, such as relationship with friends, how others see them, and their family background. The story then shifts to the year of mid-1990s and onto the late 90s, showing the changes of their life as celebrities; mainly, it will be focusing on Choi Jin Sil's relation with her husband. After the mid-years on 1990s, the story will focus on their lives in the 2000s. This is section of the story will tell the outcome and the struggles of what both Choi Jin Sil and Choi Jin Young have faced during the years. 
C: "In the beginnning, I want to show the happiness and success the siblings encountered and the sacrifices they take. At the end, I want to show how things have changed in their lives, including their love and feelings towards each other as siblings."
Even though Chou knows that this kind of memory will bring sadness upon both families of the Choi and Jo, Chou wanted to show that the world still remembers the loss ones even though they are not here. 
C: "We should accepted the fact  that all three, Choi Jin Sil, Choi Jin Young, and Jo Sung Min, took away their lives because of the pain they lived through. Though painful memories might regain, we must understand that all 3 made a choice. We are humans. We have feelings. We make mistakes. We should accept them, not take them in remorse and anger."
Chou want the families to retain the happiness that these loss ones made before they passed. 

The Meaning behind Truth&Sky
It is obvious that the word "Jin Sil" means truth in the Korean language. Chou decided to make her title simple and self-explanatory. By looking at the title, she want a simple analysis, making people remember who Choi Jin Sil and Choi Jin Young were. 
C: It wasn't easy for me to come up a title because I am always so picking. After deciding to make a simple title, I thought Truth&what? I honestly didn't know what Jin Young means. I tried researching the meaning, but it gave me no result. I then remember that Choi Jin Young's stage name was Sky, when he debuted as a singer. I then named my story, "Truth and Sky", "Jin Sil and Jin Young".   

Finding the right "Jin Sil&Jin Young"
From the words of Chrissy Chou

(Choi Jin Sil and Kim Hee Ae: "Stormy Seasons")

Finding Choi Jin Sil: It wasn't easy to find someone who looks and acts like both Choi Jin Sil and Choi Jin Young. It was like a needle in a haystack. When I began plotting for the story, I also began looking at who will be a great match to be Choi Jin Sil. I remember how much my sister admired Shim Eun Ha. She told me that I should put Shim Eun Ha as Choi Jin Sil, since they had quite a resemblance. I hesitated because I saw Shim Eun Ha differently, especially having the visual expression of her as Park Mari from "M". I declined the offer.
After watching "Eyes of Dawn" and MBC's Happy Masterpiece for "My Son's Woman", my sister recommended me Chae Si Ra. She is a wonderful actress and beautiful. But for me, I somehow wanted someone different. Someone who looked innocent but will have the heart to defy and fight.
We then came upon the 1992 drama classic, "Son and Daughter". When I saw Kim Hee Ae acting as Lee Hoo Nam, I was impressed. She looked innocent and enraged whenever her mother stepped her down. Kim became one of my nominees. My sister then show me "Stormy Seasons", staring both Kim Hee Ae and Choi Jin Sil. Kim's acting was so fantastic; she blew my mind. Seeing how amazing she can play different roles really made me admired her. In "Son and Daughter", she portrayed a daughter who was often sad and jealous because she was always compared with her twin brother. In "Stormy Seasons", Kim played the opposite: wild, tough, easily in love, etc. 
I then chose Kim Hee Ae as Choi Jin Sil

(Left: Ahn Jae Wook and Choi Jin Sil in "Star in my Heart." Right: The Choi Siblings)

Finding Choi Jin Young: Trying to find someone who plays as Choi Jin Young was a great challenge compared to my choice of Choi Jin Sil. I saw him only through his music. I've never seen any of his dramas or movies because I can never find them. So, I started observing his personality through his songs, through his actions and words in articles, and variety shows. I remember I had an obsession of The JaeSil Couple (Ahn Jae Wook and Choi Jin Sil). I vividly remember how my sister told me that she dislike the JaeSil Couple because she said that Ahn Jae Wook looked like Choi Jin Young; for her, the couple looked more like a sibling couple. Thinking of what she said, I compared the two and saw similarities. Both Ahn and Choi had almost the same smile and eye shape whenever they smiled. The only difference I saw was their eyebrows and their head shape. Overall, they looked almost the same.
When I was about to submit my decision, my sister said that Ahn didn't match the character Choi Jin Young because Ahn acted more in love-romance than acting as "family-love/sibling-love". Debate arose. I then had Jang Dong Gun in mind since I saw how great of an actor he was, especially his great acting as a friend and a brother in "The Last Match", "TaeGukGi", and "Typhoon". After another debate, I thought of Choi Soo Jong, who acted as Kim Hee Ae's twin brother in "Son and Daughter".
After so many debate, I came to a conclusion that I am going to finalize with Ahn Jae Wook, despite his proficient acting in romance. I wanted this role to be a change for him. Let a new talent begin. Because I think that Ahn make a best match for Choi Jin Young. 

A Dream to Pursue
(Photo on Choi Jin Young's Grave Stone)

In 2018, it will mark the 10 years Anniversary of Choi Jin Sil's death. In 2020, it will be 10 years since Choi Jin Young deceased. Chou's goal is to have this story finish writing before the year of 2017, mid 2017 the latest. Chou wants her story to be turned into a film, in dedication for the Choi Family, their friends, and all of their fans who have supported them. Her dream is to open a show on December 24, 2018, celebrating the anniversary of Choi's death and celebrating her 50th Birthday, by inviting all celebrities, fans, friends, and families.
C: "I want to invite all of the singers who sang songs for all of Choi Jin Sil's drama or movies. The performances will be chronically in order of the year Choi acted in. It will show a preview or flashback of the movie or drama, then the singer will sing the theme song. Towards the end of the show, I want to put a whole video about the Choi Siblings: about their accomplishments and their memories. Choi Jin Young's song, "영원", will be the last to play."

Chou knows that this will be a challenge since she barely knows the Korean language or to even have the experience to conduct a full show. But this is a dream she wants to accomplish sincerely.

C: "I think my only challenge at the moment is getting all of the information and stories about the two. And my biggest challenge right now is having a competitor who will be writing the same story about the Choi's."

Though this may be a far reach for Chou, 2018 isn't far ahead, but it gives plenty of time to think and write.

C: "Challenges are what make us grow. We must challenge ourselves physically and mentally. This is worth a shot. Remember, in the words of Choi Jin Young, The Best is yet to come."

In the memory of

Choi Jin Sil
(December 24, 1968 – October 2, 2008)

Choi Jin Young
(February 27, 1971  – March 29, 2010)

In Love, Respect, and dedication
Choi Jin Sil and Choi Jin Young
최진실 최진영

The Best is yet to come.